Is this for real?
Yes. As far as I know I'm the only one offering these services in North America. But I got my inspiration from the coffin confessor in Australia. https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/12370588/meet-the-coffin-confessor-granting-peoples-bizarre-dying-wishes-revealing-affairs-at-funerals-destroying-sex-toys/
This is very much for real and I have done it.
Can you explain your services more simply? Elevator pitch.
The Personal Confessor: We provide a unique service where we attend your funeral as a confessor, and speak on your behalf about things you may have left unsaid to your loved ones, giving them closure and peace.
Personal Item Pickup: We offer a discreet service where we collect personal items you may not want found after your passing, ensuring they are disposed of according to your wishes.
Scatter Ashes: We provide a compassionate service where we respectfully scatter the ashes of your loved ones in a location of your choice, honoring their memory and providing closure for you and your family.
Do people get angry at you?
While it's understandable that emotions can run high in situations like this, I make every effort to ensure that my clients' wishes are respected and their messages are delivered with compassion and sensitivity. To help avoid any misunderstandings or miscommunications, I always come prepared with a recording from the deceased explicitly stating their desires and urging their loved ones to listen to what I have to say. This can be in the form of an audio or video recording, depending on the client's preferences. Once I've fulfilled my role, I leave the service with the utmost respect for everyone involved.
What is included in personal item pickup?
Personal item pickup includes a wide range of services, and I am willing to assist with almost anything within reason. For instance, I can help move a motor-home. However, it's important to note that I cannot assist with anything illegal, such as drugs, weapons, or items with bloodstains. If I encounter such items, I will be obligated to notify the police and provide them with your name.
Scatter ashes? Anywhere?
Although there are many places where scattering ashes is prohibited, such as the top of Mount Kilimanjaro, I am willing to explore options and find a solution that works for you.
How do I order your services?
To order my services, we begin with a conversation about your specific needs to determine if it's something I can assist with. Once we've established that, we'll work out all the necessary details. The scope of the job could range from simply sharing information with a few individuals to organizing a funeral in a remote location without your family's knowledge. I'm also available to retrieve items like a computer or a 2000 lb safe. Typically, there's much to discuss, so feel free to give me a call to get started.
Personal Confessor Price range?
The price range for Personal Confessor services varies depending on factors such as the complexity of the confession, short notice, potential danger to me, and location. At the high end, it's $10,000 plus, while a local, easy confession with no risk to me typically costs around $3,000.
Private Item Pick Up Price range?
Private Item Pick Up also has a range in price, depending on factors such as notice, complexity, and distance. For example, if everything is in one box near the door and I have a few hours to complete the job, it may cost about $500 plus tax. However, if it's short notice and far away, and I have to arrange a motor-home to be moved in the middle of the night, the price could be in the range of $5000 to $6000.
How many people work with you?
As many as I need. This business is me so far. I hire for what is needed and where it's needed.
What will you not do?
During an interview, I was asked what I wouldn't do, and while I didn't have a specific answer, I would generally avoid being hired to go to a funeral and confess something about the deceased. I prefer to talk to the person confessing to get a better understanding of them. Additionally, I would not do a confession for someone who has lost control of their faculties. Lastly, I would not say anything excessively harsh or abusive to anyone, even if it's their dying wish. Fortunately, I haven't been approached with anything too outlandish thus far.